Camp

McKenna went to camp. This is her first year and I was dreading it. I know she is going to have fun, I know she is going to have good memories. But she and I are tight. She is the one. The center in this family. She is extremely kind and considerate. She is so good to her brother and sister. McLaine LOVES her sister. Even though they have had their squabbles, McLaine has cried for her "sissy" every evening. I then hold her and rock her. I have enjoyed that time with her, but not for the reason it arrives.

IJ and McLaine have slept with us every night since McKenna left. McLaine "can't sleep in her room all awone". IJ usually gets in bed with us every night anyway. There is a permanent place for them now on the floor. I have folded four comforters in fours and let them use my "special" blanket to cover with. They go to bed with me and then when I can't take sleeping on the edge with my big-fat-you-know-what hanging off anymore, I put them on the pallet.

IJ said to me this morning, "where Kenna?" in the most pathetic, sad, slow little baby drawl. He then put his arms out for me to pick him up and I held him and he patted my back. (All of my kids do that). So sweet. They miss her, I miss her.

I tried really hard to get some sort of job at the camp so I could be with her, watch her. But there were none, none for me. ~sigh~...

I cannot wait 'til Thursday night when the talent show is on. We get to go and see the talent show.